Preparing a Place for the Prodigal

One of my favorite things is watching the Bible Videos produced by the LDS church. While they are generally no more than five minutes long, each conveys beautiful truths in simple, yet profound ways. Each time I watch one, I feel as though I'm hearing the account for the first time and new thoughts and impressions are revealed to me. Among my favorite of the lot is the video depicting the account of the Prodigal Son. 

The account of the prodigal son has long reminded me of a the Canayo family from my mission. During the months I was able to serve in their branch, I came to know this family very well. With them, I enjoyed great fun, good food, and uplifting company. While I greatly enjoyed our time together, I left this family and their village with something that ran much deeper than the memories we made there. It was from this dear family that I learned what it means to prepare a place for the prodigals. 

The Canayo family had been some of the earliest converts in their village, and though that was only 15 years before I met them, they they had an understanding of the gospel that ran much deeper than mine. This faithful family had a son/brother who was a wonderful, loving, gifted man. He could make anyone smile, laugh and feel included and important. He was fun-loving in every sense of the word and had an uncanny ability to make anything fun and entertaining for anyone within earshot. I always loved when he would come join in with whatever was going on with the family. 

However, not long before I had arrived in the village, their son had begun to make decisions that were contrary to those he had learned in their gospel-centered home. He began to pull away from the doctrines and principles of the gospel and even developed some enmity towards some church leaders and members. Not only did he choose to let go of the principles of the gospel, but chose to embrace worldly philosophies and a paralleled lifestyle. What’s more is that he is seemingly content with the current circumstances of his life.

The agency of others can often cause those around them much grief and pain; and the Canayo family was no exception. Their son’s decisions caused his siblings and parents much discomfort, worry, and sadness. They ache for their son to recognize the decisions he has made will not bring him lasting happiness. To this point, their attempts to help him understand the error of his ways have not yielded the results they would have hoped for. 

When a loved one decides to live in a way that is contrary to the gospel, it can be excruciating for those around them. Parents may blame themselves, wondering what they could or should have done differently. Siblings may also wonder if they could have been the help their sibling needed to stay faithful. All may wonder about the eternities and may postulate what that would look and feel like with one of their closest loved ones not there with them. It may cause some to doubt that the happiness God promises will be attainable if their family. What is heaven without family?

The pain of a loved one’s bad decisions may cause us to react in one of many ways. Not only towards the situation, but towards the individual(s) involved. Many people become emotionally distant or indifferent as a way to numb the pain of the situation. Others may resort to anger and frustration towards the wayward child; choosing to reject or shun them as an outsider. Still others may sulk in the despair of something or someone that they now believe beyond rescue. While these responses may be understandable and instinctual, they are not the reactions that our Father in Heaven or His son, Jesus Christ would give. Nor are they the reactions that they would have us give. 

I feel the Canayo family perfectly exemplified the manner in which our Father would have us interact with those who have chosen a path that may have taken them away from the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Though they don’t agree with the lifestyle and decisions of their wayward loved one, they do not fail to show him unconditional love. Let me explain what I mean. They have stayed resolute in their faith and desire to live the gospel as they understand it. They understand the words of President Monson that “courage, not compromise brings the smile of God’s approval.” They have not compromised their relationship with God, Christ, or the Church in order to love their son and brother regardless of the lifestyle he has chosen to pursue. On the contrary, they have remained firm in their faith and testimonies, nor are they afraid or hesitant to be honest about the pain that his decisions have caused them or their discomfort that it can bring at times. 

This may sound harsh or unyielding, but I would have to disagree. As I mentioned, more than anything that has stood out to me about their situation is their ability to love totally and completely their son and brother through this ordeal. They treat him as they always have; with the utmost love and respect, if not with even greater compassion and tenderness. As I saw how they treated him— understanding at the same time the pain that his decisions were causing them— I had a great outpouring of love towards this wonderful family, and also towards their struggling son and brother. 

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said in General Conference a year ago: 

President Deiter F. Uchtdorf

“The search for truth has led millions of people to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. However, there are some who leave the Church they once loved.

In this Church that honors personal agency so strongly, that was restored by a young man who asked questions and sought answers, we respect those who honestly search for truth. It may break our hearts when their journey takes them away from the Church we love and the truth we have found, but we honor their right to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their own conscience, just as we claim that privilege for ourselves.”

Like the prodigal son and like those spoken of by President Uchtdorf, the Canayos’ son (and brother) had taken what was his and had left the safety of his father’s house (literally their home, but also the gospel) and gone out into the world (in actions, ideologies, and lifestyle). I recognize and respect the agency of each and every individual. I cannot say everyone will change, because the truth is not everyone will. But God always has faith in our ability to change, so I do too. 

Unlike the story of the prodigal son, however, this story is not over. To this point the Canayo’s son is still “gone out into the world”. We learn in the Book of Mormon that “wickedness never was happiness” and that a fullness of joy can only be achieved through obedience to the gospel and commandments of God. The Canayo’s son is not someone who is unfamiliar with these scriptures or ideas. He has felt the spirit and knows the familiar peace that the spirit brings into our lives. But right now, he’s still spending his “inheritance” in the world. But only eternal things last; and when the pleasure of worldly things no longer satisfies and nothing else is left, the time will come to return home. 

This is the point I’ve wanted to get to and I apologize for taking so long to get here. In order for the prodigal to go home, he has to believe there is a home to go to. He has to believe there is a place for him there. This is what the sweet Canayo family has done, as have so many others. By loving their son and brother through his ordeal, they have conveyed to him that there will always be a warm hands, open hearts, and a love-filled home; even when he has nowhere else to go. This is what our Father in Heaven, through His son and our Savior, offers us; to “come boldly [to] the throne of grace”. Through each of our weak moments, God’s love does not waver and his kindness does not depart. Instead, He loves. He waits, anxiously; aching for us to realize that He is still there, that he still loves us, and that he still has prepared a place for us. Such is the beauty of grace bestowed a benevolent Father above.