Prayer: Recognizing His Hand - Part 3

I’m going to continue on with this theme of prayer. Soon after beginning the first post about prayer, I realized that there were multiple areas I wanted to address. Two of them I was able to get underway rather quickly, but two seemed to just sit in my ideas folder. I had some things I wanted to say, but didn’t yet feel ready to address them; something was missing.

Well, one of these came clear to me a couple of weeks ago, and it’s been hard not to smile whenever I recall the experience. The experience I had involved a powerful recognition of God’s hand. But before I share that experience, I wanted to return back to Interstellar, which as you’ve probably noticed by my first and second post on prayer, had a great impact on me and was a catalyst in my addressing prayer.  

I won’t give a full recount of the storyline; so if you want a refresher, check out my first post on prayer here and while you’re at it; you can check out the second part here.

Cooper decided to leave his family and earth to find a way to save humanity; because the earth has been overworked and is dying. He left his kids to find and be able to offer them a brighter future; or really, any future at all. His children, young as they were when he left, didn’t fully understand his responsibility and mission. His daughter even felt abandoned and forgotten. As her father’s time away continued without communication, she became more and more bitter and resentful towards him, while still hopeful he would return. She wanted to know he was out there; to know he was still a part of her life and that he was still there for her.

Years passed, Murphy still found no comfort or solace. However, the emptiness she felt regarding her father’s presence or influence was not because they were not present. In fact, her father was trying very hard to communicate with her. The problem was that Murphy failed to recognize the evidences for what they were. Though she wanted and was hopeful for evidence and support; she was not looking for them as she ought. So Murphy tried to move forward on her own; relying wholly upon her own intelligence and trusting in other mortal men around her who she thought could help her solve the problems of human existence and salvation.

However, as is always the case with those who try to rely on themselves alone (as I know through personal experience) there comes a time when we realize our efforts— even our best efforts— will fall short; dismally short. We crumble under the weight and sink into despair. The same happened with Murphy; she was crushed; devastated. Her despair turned into greater resentment of her father; reaffirming her belief that he had really abandoned them to destruction.

But this debilitating realization that could have led to her demise eventually led to her salvation. It was at this point that she realized that she could do nothing more. When we come to acknowledge that we are powerless on our own, we suddenly become much more willing to look for other solutions or supports; not matter where they may come from or what form they may take. In a way, we seek faith in something greater than ourselves. In a way, we are finally willing to open our eyes; to seek as we ought.

Murph finally recognizes her father's influence around her. 

This is when Murphy began to see; when she realized her inability to do more alone and reached out in faith-- limited though it was-- for something greater than herself. She could now noticed the evidences; she could now comprehend the directions. Once she did, her inner fire of hope-- which had been dwindling for years-- burst back into flame. Signs began to show up everywhere; she searched her past and her present, finding her father’s hand in everything that had happened that had led her to that moment and that would lead her to save herself and many others.

A few weeks ago I had a similar experience. I am currently in a Doctrine and Covenants class at BYU. While reading in section 100, I came across the following in verse 12:

“Therefore, continue in your journey and let your hearts rejoice; for behold, and lo, I am with you even unto the end.”

Upon reading it, a feeling of comfort came over me. But along with that comfort came a nostalgic familiarity with the verse. I felt as though this verse had been important to me in some “other” life. So I went to the scriptures I had used during one of those “other” lives; my seminary scriptures. We had studied from the Doctrine and Covenants during my freshman year. As I began to flip through that older set of scriptures, I came to this same verse. It was mostly highlighted in orange; though it also had some read, green, and blue; not to mentioned underlined in both black and read with a couple of random red stars as well.

So apparently this verse had been pretty significant to me at some point. I didn’t have notes on why that might be, so I decided to peruse other parts of my seminary D&C scriptures. As I did, I noticed that only two types of verses were highlighted’ scripture mastery verses and what I’m now calling my “comfort verses”; these verses that conveyed in some way, God’s love, presence, and constancy. Many of them speak as this one does of His being ever by my side. Many speak of His loving nature, His willingness to support me, and His promise never to abandon me. This “comfort verses” have brought me so much peace and comfort; especially through the more discouraging moments of my life.

However, I was drawn to all of these verses in jr. high, before I knew I had a testimony of the gospel or before I even understood the nature of my own shortcomings and weaknesses. I found myself marking these scriptures even before I had really begun to contemplate the trials or hardships that life would bring. I was doing this before I had ever personally read the Book of Mormon (or any scriptural text); and still had not develop faith or a testimony in the power of scripture.

Over the course of the years, my attention was pulled from Doctrine and Covenants to the Book of Mormon and the Bible. I soon forgot the verses I had found in the Doctrine and Covenants. Let me rephrase that; I stopped reading these verses, but somehow the concepts and truths of those verses stayed with me. As life progressed, so did the trials that were to be mine. And with those trials came discouragement, fear, hopelessness, and helplessness. 

In a General Conference a few years ago, Elder Scott conveyed simply and beautiful (as Elder Scott tends to do with everything) what these scriptures have become for me: “Scriptures are like packets of light that illuminate our minds and give place to guidance and inspiration from on high. They can become the key to open the channel to communion with our Father in Heaven and His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ.”

I unknowingly found comfort in some of these concepts in the darkest moments of my life. Sometimes I failed to remember these truths and suffered or ached more than God has intended; all because I was unwilling to remember the powerful truths he had given me. I had forgotten these “packets of light” as Elder Scott has called the verses of scripture that offer strength, comfort, and guidance amidst trial and heartache.

However, it was not until a few weeks that I realized that my being drawn to these verses was not a matter of happenstance; it was intentional. For years I have attributed my being drawn to these verses as just an inconsequential interest in a concept. But this could not be further from the truth. There was nothing coincidental at all about it. It was God. It was His hand that led me to these verses. It was His influence that called to me and beckoned me to find refuge and comfort in His words. The moment this dawned on me, the moment I realized that these were purposeful manifestations of God’s hand; I couldn’t contain my gratitude and wonder.

He was aware of me; not only now; but He was aware of me long before I was aware of Him or His guiding hand in my life. He understood the trials, fears, and pains I would face and was doing all He could to convey to me the foundational truths of His unwavering  love that would give me the confidence to stand again when I fell. He was tirelessly communicating His ever-present nature that would help me to feel Him there, even when no one else could be. He was conveying his undeviating constancy that assured me that at least He would never forsake me. All of this and more, He gave me; all by quietly, subtly leading an confused, unaware and mid-pubescent boy; who was completely and totally oblivious to the mighty influence that was working on and within him. 

As I realized this, my understanding of God's power and love seemed to stretch beyond what I had ever comprehended. And with that increased understanding of His workings through subtle mediums, I became much more aware of the small things; the seemingly insignificant impressions or thoughts that come so faintly to my mind. Because it was these—and continues to be— the simple, peaceful, almost imperceptible impressions that have been the most life-sustaining and life-altering influences in my own life. And as I have done this, I've found God was leading me, guiding me, healing me, helping me, and speaking to me much more than I ever thought He was.